All I want for Christmas

Jordan’s Grandmother is keeping the kids for us while they are out of school.  Hanging out at the office with us is apparently equal to torture.  Who knew?  You’d think that movies, snacks & crafts wouldn’t be that terrible.  [shoulder shrug]

To get the kids in the Christmas spirit, she is taking the kids Christmas shopping.  Jaden & Fisher get to pick out something to give as a gift from them to a few family members.  Awesome, right?  Right. 

Jaden, wanting to make sure that she gets everyone what they want, started questioning the family about what they wanted most in life.  When she asked Jordan’s dad, he couldn’t think of anything.  So, without thinking, he blurted out: “A bazooka!”  Well, you better be careful what you ask for.

Later that night Jaden snuck over to Jordan’s Grandmother and whispered in her ear: “Grandpa wants a gun for Christmas.  A BIG one.  Do you think we can get him one?”

[smile]

Christmas Calendar, Ages 13+

We all remember what Jaden was for Halloween, right?

That’s right.  A creepy dead girl, A.K.A., a princess.  ;]  Okay, keep that in mind…

Last week the kids had their school Winter Parties…and they had a blast!  Candy, presents…more candy.  They were a study in early onset diabetes.  [wink]  Jaden’s class ended up making calendars as Christmas gifts for their family.  Which is  fabulous idea!  One lucky family member gets the gift of something personal and handmade.  (It may not sound exciting to some, but wait until you have kids.  Suddenly pictures drawn by children become priceless.)  You couldn’t ask for more. 

Jordan ended up being that lucky family member.  He loved the calendar:  It was full of pictures that Jaden had drawn to correspond with each month.  Lemon was featured on January, an ocean scene with fish was featured for July…and then there was October:

What better picture to draw for October than a recreation of Jaden’s Halloween choice for 2010?  The yellow is her hair, the orange is her face and the red is copious amounts of blood streaming down from her head wound.  [Bahaha!]  Oh, and don’t forget her earrings.  She’s gory AND classy at the same time.  [wink]

Ahh…that’s my girl.  [smile]  Merry Christmas, indeed.

Ears and Things

I have small ears.  And I’m not talking ears that are on the smallish side for an adult either.  My ears can still ride the kiddy-roller coaster at the fair.  In fact, I am sure elderly women would try to pinch their cheeks if they had any.  (A sore subject for my ears since it is their greatest wish.  Forever small yet devoid of cheeks to be pinched.  Such as shame.)

Anyway, back on subject.  The darn things are tiny.  Which is perfectly fine when it comes to most things.  Ear muffs?  Oh, they’re covered.  Earrings?  They can hold their own.  But what about ear buds?  Ah…now those are a problem.  Not only are my ears small, but my canals are even smaller.  (Eh-heh.  Not many people can brag about having small ear canals.  Bada-bing!)

No matter what I do, they won’t stay in.  They’re too big.  (…that’s what she said!  Oh, come on.  You were going to say it if I wasn’t.)  Ear buds pop out of my ears the second I put them in.  It’s like corn kernels hitting hot oil.  Pfoo, pfoo!  Ear buds everywhere!  Look out below!

Not one to be easily discouraged, I moved on to the kind of ear buds that wrap around behind your ear.  They kind of like a training bra.  They don’t provide much support, but they do keep what little you have in place.  Or, at least that’s what they’re supposed to do.  The problem with me is that my ears are too small for the ear bud thingies to wrap around.  (I’m a little rusty on my ear bud anatomy…you’ll have to excuse me.)  The wrap-around part!  That’s it.  They can’t wrap around because there’s not enough to well, wrap around.  It is a true crisis.

The crisis is that Jordan got me an iPod Touch for Christmas.  (But, Raine.  It’s not Christmas yet.  Did y’all cheat?  Of course we cheated.)  I’ve finally got it loaded up with awesome music that rocks my $3 socks and I can hardly hear it.  Tis a cruel, cruel world!  So, this afternoon, I’m going to shop in the kids section of an electronics store.  Maybe the Tinker Bell ear buds will work for me.  You know she’s hot right now? Oh yeah, totally.   My niece says so.  ;]

…

Hipstamatic, yo.

I guess I’ll just play with my cool new apps until I get my ears outfitted properly.  My 70’s style Fisher looks pretty awesome.