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Let’s Talk Turkey

28 Nov

It’s been almost a week since Thanksgiving and I still have leftovers chilling in my fridge.  Actually, they may no longer be chilling.  They may be actively growing hair and fingernails.  *cough*  Ahem.

How was your Thanksgiving?  Ours was low-key and laid back.  Just like I like it.  I only had to make the dressing and a pie which made life a lot less complicated.  The dressing was my Great Grandmother Ocee’s recipe which is delicious and perfect in every way.  The pie was a Lemon Chess Pie which was amazing.  Traditional?  No.  Delicious and Lemon-tastic?  Oh, yes!  I am fiend for any dessert that is lemon flavored.  But really, who isn’t?  It wasn’t too strong or overly filling and seemed to pair well with the Pecan Pie my husband’s Grandmother made.


As you can see the weather in Central Oklahoma was mild on Thanksgiving.  Thankfully the kids played outside while the women finished up cooking in the kitchen.  Nothing sets tempers on edge more than children under foot when a hundred things are being prepared simultaneously.

Of course once the camera came out, Jaden and Fisher were ready to cheese for me on cue.  Look at the size of that Sycamore leaf!  This Sycamore tree is amazing if not a little smelly at times.

What the heck…why not make a quick photo shoot out of a few minutes of play?

And if we’re going to have a photo shoot, we might as well make faces at the camera for a few minutes.  It’s for the sake of  posterity after all.

The best part of our Thanksgiving was eating off of these sweet place mats that the kids made.  There were eight total, but these two were my favorites, mainly because they are morbid.  Those poor turkeys.  One is about to be run through with a sword and another is being hunted by a girl dreaming of turkey ribs.  Creepy!

I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving!


Bi-Monthly Roundup

2 Nov

The past two weeks have been in-sane.  If the past two weeks had a commemorative T-shirt, it would be in the style of a marathon complete with bloody noses, freezing asses and, of course, jack-o-lanterns.  (And it would be the most amazing T-shirt ever.)

My Septoplasty recovery ending up being more intense and drawn-out than I had hoped.  It was an inescapable type of pain that did not waver despite the prescription painkillers I threw at it.  Relief was found only after my surgeon removed the splints from my nose. That said, stop whatever you are doing right now and search for a YouTube video of someone having nasal splints removed.  It is horrible and gross and you just can’t peel your eyes away.  Oh the carnage!  (I may have exaggerated a bit just now.)  Exaggerations aside, it was not a pleasant experience and oh-my-god I couldn’t believe how long or how large those things were!  Surely they impaled my brain fully and poked out through my hair on the back-side of my skull.

Ten days after surgery I once again participated in a local drug awareness parade along side my employer and my children.  The parade is kind of a big deal and the turn out from the community was staggering.  The kids absolutely loved the experience.  You’d think that they’d rather by on the side lines collecting candy.  But no, they thought that throwing candy to the thousands of children at the parade was one of the best thing ever.  It made me more than a little proud.  :]  Also, it was 30 degrees outside.  The normal nose would run and sniffle and blow and do all the other normal things noses do in these temperatures.  And mine did the same only it resulted in one of the most epic migraine/face-pain festivals of the decade.  I spent the rest of the day vomiting and sitting in a hot shower praying to entity within earshot to just make it stop.  It was exciting.

Then came Halloween.  At the last minute I decided to participate and threw together a Trophy Wife costume.  Pretentious?  Most definitely.  It is, however, easy to make and extremely cost efficient.  Simply throw on your best dress, make up a banner so no one is confused and there you have it.

Least sexy pose.  Ever. You’re welcome.

Jaden dressed as a turquoise-haired Vampiress and Fisher was just down-right creepy.  Imagine encountering this in the dark.  It was quite unnerving.  I can’t remember what the packing declared this costume to be.  Fisher labeled himself as Death.

Believe it or not they are smiling for the camera.  Jaden’s smile is obscured by her fangs and I like to image that Fisher’s smile looked like Jack from The Shining.  (Because it usually does when he’s riding a sugar high.)

We also carved pumpkins.  And by “we” I mean the kids only.  I was truly impressed by their skill and dedication to gutting these pumpkins.  They scraped out pumpkin innards like seasoned professionals.  They hardly batted an eye to being elbow deep in one of the most disgusting substances on the planet.  (Seriously, the contents of pumpkins are just nasty.)  They even carved their pumpkins without losing any of their fingers.  I’d say that’s pretty darn impressive.

My crochet projects have suffered greatly over the past two weeks.  I had grand visions of convalescing at home in mild discomfort while simultaneously cranking out a few dozen crochet projects.  That did not happen.  I now realize that I was deluded in the most extreme way.  With the holidays fast approaching I need to get my rear in gear.  Any of you hookers out there have any suggestions from some unique and creative crochet projects?  I’m all ears….and hooks.  :]

Valetine Cookies

17 Feb

Hey, if I can decorate a cake, surely I can decorate a cookie.

These were a huge hit with Jaden’s class for their Valentine’s Day Party.  I think I may have to take another stab at cookie decorating in the future.  Royal icing is much more finicky than butter cream, but I think we can come to some kind of understanding.

All I want for Christmas

22 Dec

Jordan’s Grandmother is keeping the kids for us while they are out of school.  Hanging out at the office with us is apparently equal to torture.  Who knew?  You’d think that movies, snacks & crafts wouldn’t be that terrible.  [shoulder shrug]

To get the kids in the Christmas spirit, she is taking the kids Christmas shopping.  Jaden & Fisher get to pick out something to give as a gift from them to a few family members.  Awesome, right?  Right. 

Jaden, wanting to make sure that she gets everyone what they want, started questioning the family about what they wanted most in life.  When she asked Jordan’s dad, he couldn’t think of anything.  So, without thinking, he blurted out: “A bazooka!”  Well, you better be careful what you ask for.

Later that night Jaden snuck over to Jordan’s Grandmother and whispered in her ear: “Grandpa wants a gun for Christmas.  A BIG one.  Do you think we can get him one?”


Christmas Calendar, Ages 13+

21 Dec

We all remember what Jaden was for Halloween, right?

That’s right.  A creepy dead girl, A.K.A., a princess.  ;]  Okay, keep that in mind…

Last week the kids had their school Winter Parties…and they had a blast!  Candy, presents…more candy.  They were a study in early onset diabetes.  [wink]  Jaden’s class ended up making calendars as Christmas gifts for their family.  Which is  fabulous idea!  One lucky family member gets the gift of something personal and handmade.  (It may not sound exciting to some, but wait until you have kids.  Suddenly pictures drawn by children become priceless.)  You couldn’t ask for more. 

Jordan ended up being that lucky family member.  He loved the calendar:  It was full of pictures that Jaden had drawn to correspond with each month.  Lemon was featured on January, an ocean scene with fish was featured for July…and then there was October:

What better picture to draw for October than a recreation of Jaden’s Halloween choice for 2010?  The yellow is her hair, the orange is her face and the red is copious amounts of blood streaming down from her head wound.  [Bahaha!]  Oh, and don’t forget her earrings.  She’s gory AND classy at the same time.  [wink]

Ahh…that’s my girl.  [smile]  Merry Christmas, indeed.

Paper Pilgrim Disgust

26 Nov

Ah, Thanksgiving.  It was good.  We cooked, we ate, we watched the National Dog Show.  Classic.  Then, just before the sun set, we decided to string up some Christmas lights in the front yard.  (I like that the Pilgrims that Jaden & Fisher drew are watching us from the window as we defile their holiday.  Sorry folks, Christmas is way more exciting.)

I’ve never decorated a yard in lights, and since everyone does it, I figured it would be an easy task.  Wrong.  Did you know that you have to be strategic about this kind of thing?  Like making sure you decorate things so that your male and female plugs meet up in the right place?  Well, we figured that out after we’d decorated half the yard.  [nervous laugh]  No worries.  It was only a frosty 32 degrees outside.  The blowing wind kept us motivated.  ;]

How cold was it, you say?  Cold enough for me to put on a hat, which I have never done.  And for me to break down and put on a second pair of gloves, which I have never done.  It was about this time that I wished I had put on my Cuddl Duds.  (That’s right…not only am I drinking un-sweet tea now, I’m also wearing long underwear.  I’m a woman on edge!)

After losing sensation in all my extremities, I decided to press on.  The yard turned out looking quite festive and the kids were utterly thrilled.  [smile]

Heck, I even walked the dogs later that night in the 20-some-odd degree weather.  Who needs toes, right?  ;]

Pine Cone Parade

25 Nov


Ah…Thanksgiving has arrived.  Cranberry-Eggnog Muffins have been eaten.  The children are absolutely hyper.  The dogs are outside treading through a foot of sycamore leaves.  And the local brown paper bags have teamed up with our pine cones to put on a show.  Beat that, Macy’s.  [wink]

After cooking for six straight hours yesterday, all I have left to do is bake this morning.  Soon all we’ll have to do is eat and try to stay warm.  (The wind-chill outside right now is 24 degrees.)   It will be an awesome day.

So, Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  I hope you all have a lovely day and full bellies.  [smile]