What Comes Around

After working in property management for five years, I had developed a healthy loathing for most tenant complaints. I say healthy because it had not yet reached the point where I was shopping for “the perfect envelope” to mail flour in for my downward spiral into being a psychopath.

That trip to Crazytown aside, this weekend that proverbial shoe was firmly secured on the other foot. First the circuit breaker that controlled power to our entire second floor bit the dust. It penned a long, well thought out letter letting us know that we would soon be entering the second circle of hell and for us to remember to pack a snack. Thanks. Then the A/C died. Oh, hell. You’re so hot and humid…and hot. What’s up with that?

I knew better than to think that this was a precursor to this past weekends supposed apocalypse. I kindly turned down an offer from a homeless gentleman to wear a sandwich board claiming “the end was nye.” No, all those years of complaining about whining tenants had finally come back to bite me. In the rear. With teeth.

My first floor which usually doubles as a meat locker, heated up to 80 degrees. My second floor, which normally struggles to stay cool on a good day, got up into the mid-80’s. Oh, it all kinds of terrible. We all lazed about the downstairs trying to move as little as possible lest we create any unnecessary body heat. I would have laid down belly-first on the kitchen floor, but the dogs had beaten me to it. At least once an hour I attempted a call to my landlord who never answers the phone and most certainly never listens to a voice mail. He likes to let them build up until his voice mail box is bursting at the seams with pleas from his hapless tenants. Then, after they’ve marinated for a few days, he erases all the messages without listening to them to let the game begin anew. What can I say; I’ve got some resentment issues.

After 48 hours of sweating, and with no oldies to sweat to, we broke down and called our own technician to come out and fix the A/C. It was almost 9:00 at night on a Saturday. Oh yeah. We paid time and a half and had the air working again by 10. It was the best money Jordan and I have spent to date. Of course by then it was still in the 80’s and the kids were still awake. Thus they camped out downstairs and Jordan and I lay prone without moving all night upstairs. Thankfully it was back in the 70’s by morning.

Sunday was spent frolicking about the house, soaking in the cool air and generally cursing the name of our landlord. It was a great day.

Wiper Blades, Use #2

Ohmygoodness.  I’m back.  After an extended leave. Very extended.

I apologize for being away for so long, but life has done what life is best at:  It changes, usually without your consent.  So I’ve taken a few weeks off to adjust.  I’ve started a new job, moved into a new house.  All of which is stressful and exciting and stressful.  Yes, stressful was listed twice.  You know, for emphasis. [wink]

On the up side, there have been a few things to brag about.  All of which I’ll share with you in detail later. As a quick example: Fisher kicked his first goal during his last game of soccer last week.  Needless to say I was proud to the point of bursting.  But the mom holding the baby standing next to me wouldn’t have appreciated that, so I kept it together.  You’re welcome. 

In other news, I witness the most gloriously hilarious and nonsensical sight today while on the way back to the office from lunch:

While sitting at a red light I glanced behind me to see a mini van waiting behind me.  The gloriously hilarious part came from the van’s wiper blades.  They were both propped up to the point of obscuring the driver’s view.  What, pray tell, where they propped up on?  Half gallon cartons of strawberry ice cream.  Duh. 

Now I’m not sure why they were their, but I like to think that the driver’s microwave had died in the night and this was the next best way to thaw out frozen ice cream.  I’m sure that’s listed in a survival guide somewhere.  “Water, handy for hydration.  Mini van wiper blades?  Amazing at thawing ice cream while keep the carton affixed to the vehicle.”  It makes so much sense I can’t believe that I haven’t thought of it before. 

So, there you go.  My gift to you after a few weeks away.  If you’re ever in a pinch and need to thaw some ice cream fast while simultaneously bragging to your neighbors about the brand of ice cream you keep on hand, strap those puppies down under your wiper blades and go for a drive.  A few blocks should do it. 

Moot Point

I would feel ashamed to blog about anything today other than the catastrophic damage and loss of life that has effected Japan today.  My mind cannot seem to grasp the horror that is unfolding there now.  Thus today I will take a break out of respect to the suffering that is ensuing in the country of Japan.  My only hope is that lives can be saved and that Japan can have a swift recovery.