Tag Archives: Dress

Conspiracy

20 Sep

The universe has conspired against me today to turn me into one sexy mofo.  That’s right.  My aversion to laundry over the past two weeks has led to an almost bare closet.  The only things hanging in there right now are dresses.  These are the ones that are a tad bit too short but still occasionally see the light of day when I’m feeling frisky.  (Or when I have a complete lack of options.)

My underwear draw isn’t looking much better.  It currently consists of socks featuring an array of barn animals and the sexy underwear your are always left with when you haven’t washed clothes in a while.

Lastly, I cannot for the life of me find my dress flats.  These shoes are my favorite work shoes because they are simultaneously dressy and comfortable.  And as everyone well knows, these are hard shoes to find.  This morning my favorites seem to have been kidnapped by dust bunnies because they were no where to be found.  Thus I was left with the only other pair of shoes that look decent with said short dress: heels.  Oh, these babies are gorgeous but almost impossible for me to walk in.  Whenever worn, I try my best to strike a daring pose as often as possible and only actually walk when absolutely necessary.  Because once I try to walk in these things, it becomes apparent that I haven’t had much practice.

Actually, I’ve had a lot of practice.  I like to think of myself as “unteachable” in this area.  Like those people who sink in water instead of floating.  Swimming is out of the question for them and wearing heels is generally out of the question for me.

So, today I am going to be damned sexy if not slightly clumsy.

You’re welcome.