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Nightmares for Beginners

10 Mar

I normally blog in the morning after I’ve dropped the kids off at school.  The house if relatively quiet, besides the usual bark-fest the dogs host every morning by the front window.  Gotta let those pedestrians know where they stand.  [wink]  All that said, these past two mornings I just haven’t been in the mood to blog.  And I blame it entirely on the nightmares I seem to have each night.  I swear, if I could dreams once of fluffy bunnies or fields of poppies I would be a happy camper.  Oh no.  Every night someone is getting dismembered or maimed…or both.  (Which I guess if you’ve been dismembered then you are for sure maimed.)

However, two nights ago my nightmares took a different path than they normally do:

Jordan and I had just gotten married and we had decided that I would move to Oklahoma to be with him.  (Which in real life we didn’t move to OK until we’d been married for 20 months.)  There was just one problem.  For some reason the state of Oklahoma would not let me enter until I had retaken Kindergarten.  Why?  I have not a clue.  But let me tell you, the idea of having to do Kindergarten over at the ripe age of 26 is horrifying.  For reals.  And the weird thing is that my Kindergarten class was full of other moms.  What’s up, ladies?  Why where they taking Kindergarten over again?  I guess it seemed comically to my twisted imagination.  Anyway, Adult Kindergarten was terrible.  Each day I’d attend Kindergarten, park in the Kindergarten parking lot, fight my way through throngs of snotty high schoolers and then collapse into bed each night to cry over the phone to Jordan who was living easy in Oklahoma.  Why, cruel world?  Why?!

And the worst part was that I suddenly realized that I’d forgotten my colors, my left from my right and most importantly how to tie my shoe lace.  The horror upon realization was almost too much for my sub-conscience to handle.  I know, I know.  You’re all probably laughing your arse off right now.  But just imagine if someone came and carried you away back to Kindergarten.  With no nap times!  Now who’s laughing?  ;]