It was a large, friendly beast

18 May

Every morning after I drop off the kids at school I come back home and walk the dogs around our neighborhood.  It’s good exercise for all three of us, plus it gives the dogs a chance to do their business in the yard up the road instead of in my living room.  It’s a win-win.  This morning we’d struck out early in hopes to catch as many cats as we could at the cat house.  There is a house about a block away that we pass by every day.  And every day,  on average there are at least three cats scattered about the yard in what I am sure is a plot to drive my dogs insane.  I’ve counted as many as six different cats there before.  What you might call crazy makes me feel nostalgic.  My mom has a ridiculous number of cats herself and I can’t see that much fur on a lawn without thinking of her.  

Now back to the walk…

We’d barely made it to the corner of our street before we met up with some excitement.  The house near the corner is home to a Shiba Inu who thinks it’s poop doesn’t stink (pst, it does) and quite possibly the largest Mastiff I have ever laid eyes upon.  This dog is e-freakin-normous.  I’ve only ever seen it’s head poking out from under its garage door and the tip of its tail as it whizzed past the top of a 6 foot fence.  It’s like the dog from The Sandlot.  This morning, however, it escaped from its yard and ran at full speed for me and the dogs.  Lemon, who is a dainty southern bell, yelped loudly and then proceeded to dissolve into a puddle of Dachshund pudding.  Denny, who is completely tailless and whose legs are barely long enough to be called legs, tried to eat the Mastiff.  And what about me?  I squeezed my eyes shut, held my breath and waited for the dog to eat me alive.  Maybe it would be kind and go for a vital organ first.  However it turned out that the horse-dog was extremely friendly and is named Bailey instead of Butch the Destroyer like I had imagined.  

Bailey didn’t linger long as his master, a small woman who could have happily ridden the dog to work, ran into the yard to gather him up.  She apologize and I finally found enough nerve to open my eyes and give her one of those “…ah, no big deal.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ve wet myself” kind of smiles.  I managed to get Lemon going again, who I am sure would have laid there and played dead for a solid week if that’s what it would have taken for her to regain her composure.  She’s so delicate.  [wink]

The rest of the walk passed by like normal.  Although there was only one cat to be seen at the cat house.  It was a large and fluffy cat who had enough fur to make at least two more.  So I wasn’t disappointed.  It was a grand enough cat to make up for the lack of the rest of the hoard.  Though not nearly as big as Bailey.


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