What a Woman Wants

22 Mar

It’s that time of year again.  The flowers are blooming.  The Bradford Pear trees are smelling.  Everyone and their sister is having a baby.  It’s freakin’ Spring, y’all.  Normally I’m kind of sad to see Winter go, but after the past few months of near sub-zero wind chills, I’m quite content to sweat a little in the afternoons.  The other upside is for once I am not having to suffer through the pollen explosion that occurs this time each year in South West Georgia, my home sweet home.

I don’t know if Oklahoma has less of a problem in this area due to the sparse tree population or the constant blowing wind.  Whatever the excuse, I’m happy for it.  Sorry, Georgia.  You’ll have to sit through this one without me.  [Muahaha!]  *cough*

Oklahoma pays for its lack in pollen in the form of Bradford Pear Trees.  If you’ve ever spent time around these trees when they’re in full bloom then you know what I’m talking about.  The stench of rotting vegetation.  Oh, the flowers are beautiful, but the smell keeps you from admiring them for too long.  [sniiiiiff]  Mmm…lovely.

And then there are the babies.  Everyone I know has either just had a baby or is about to.  And this year that particular spring-time phenomenon is about to get the best of me.  I’ve got the itch, but the problem is that I do not have anything to scratch.  [That was an excellent Major Payne reference, by the way.]  I want a gurgling, squirming, drooling bundle of goodness so badly that I can hardly stand it.  What’s stopping me?  Have you checked into the price of having a baby these days?  Yowzers.  It’ll make you want to slap your mama…ur, baby daddy.  [wink]  And to make a preemptive strike, no, I’m not pregnant.  I’d like to be, but I’m not.  So, here’s to hoping that maybe, just maybe sometime this year I can discover the joy that is peeing on a stick and discovering a plus sign.  [fingers crossed]  Of course first I need to win the lottery.  And get a house.  And a million other things.  [smile]

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One Response to “What a Woman Wants”

  1. Kelly March 24, 2011 at 8:55 AM #

    The bradford pears are blooming here and there is a slew of the them next to the entrance at work. They smell horrible!! And here I thought it was just me that hated the smell. As for the baby thing…I can’t say much because it seems like everyone is “knocked up” as your sister keeps calling me. :) I completely know what your going through because all those “to do” items are on my check list too. Unfortunately I have less time. September 1st will be here all too soon. Best of Luck!! Love ya! ~Kelly

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