Don’t rock the boat

28 Jan

I’ve always known that I’m a jumpy lady.  And I definitely cannot watch a scary movie without having a personal Chauffeur on standby for a 48 hour period.  One could even go so far as to say that I am easily frightened.  “Whhhat?  Mwa?  Noooo.”  [Hands posed in a “I’m all aghast” position]

However, I am pretty sure that I am getting worse as I get older.  Just now Jordan stepped into our bedroom to warn me that he was going to turn on the hair dryer for a few minutes and for me not to get scared.  He did this so I wouldn’t scream and attach myself to the ceiling in the nature of Tom & Jerry…and also so I wouldn’t give him a heart attack.  Though I can’t imagine why.  Screaming as if one were having their body assaulted by an army of leaches is nothing to get your blood pumping.  [wink]

Even at work, my in-laws have picked up on my habit of screaming apocalypse-style if they enter the room without me noticing…which is 97.4% of the time.   (It’s quite an accurate measurement.)  They found that whistling works best and shuffling their feet not so much.  In fact, shuffling your feet as you enter a room will increase my scare/scream/jump factor by ten.  It’s serious stuff.  The sound of shuffling feet creates in my brain the image of the undead closing in around me.  And we all know how seriously awful zombies can be.  So in this instance, I feel justified in my seemingly ridiculous compulsion to scream.

Now that I think about it, my work place routine is down-right comical.  Want to walk around the office without scaring Raine while simultaneously giving yourself a premature head of gray hair?  Try whistling.  Want to give Raine a kiss?  Better grab a stapler.  (Of course this last scenario applies strictly to Jordan….ah-duh.)   I’m sure that given time, I’ll have my co-workers jumping through some even more bizarre hoops.  I’m hoping they’ll involve roasted peanuts, because they are oh-so-delicious.

(I’d throw in an evil/maniacal laugh right about now, but that would just be mean.)  [wink]


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