(Gasp) It’s hey-yur!

20 May

Target Acquired.

  • Name: Wren Something.  (a.k.a. Ivana –> Because everyone needs a secret Russian name.)
  • Age: Twenty-Something.
  • Occupation: Dismemberment.  (Okay…she’s a surgical tech.)

With a picture like this, I couldn’t pass up the chance to be like “M” for a little while.  Go get her, 007.

Speaking of Ivana, I mean, Wren…she came over with Chloe last night to eat spaghetti and go for a walk.  The spaghetti, cooked by yours truly, was boiled to perfection.  Be jealous.  Be very jealous.  Supper passed without much excitment.  The kids ate/wore their food in their usual style.  The dogs circled the table, shooting forlorn stares in our direction…only to be deflected by our cold hearts.  For shame. 

Afterwards, I got busy cleaning up the kitchen so we could all go on a walk.  Nothing spells fun like a belly full of noodles and 100% humidity.  Mmm…Pepto Bismal, anyone?  Chloe was skipping about the kitchen, not a care in the world, until she came across something truly horrific.  Hair.  (I know…where could it have come from?  With only four people and two dogs living in our house, I can’t imagine.) 

It is now apparent that my sweet niece is deathly afraid of hair.  While attached to a scalp, she could care less.  But as soon as it is detached, it becomes a lethal weapon.  (I’m not really sure what it does, but by the look on her horrified face last night, I’m sure it’s not pretty.)  As I washed dishes and Wren surfed the internet, Chloe became trapped by my back door.  The hair was ruthless.  It wouldn’t budge from her path.  How ever would she cross the room to her juice?  How would she be able to attend college someday or have children?  What was up with hair falling out of people’s heads?!  The world is coming to an end!  (Heaving gasps of horror.) 

So funny was the situation, that I put down my dish sponge to see how she would handle the situation.  She cried out for help from the “hey-yur,” but no one came to her rescue.  Then she tried to step over it, but the pernicious hair activated a force field around itself.  Foiled again.  In a last ditch effort, she took a flying leap from the back door mat and landed like a flying squirrel on Wren’s lap.  It was as if she’d been attacked by an octopus that had very poor dexterity. 

I would say that it was the funniest thing that I’d seen all day, but the night wasn’t over yet.  Later, as everyone was on a walk, Chloe stopped everyone in their tracks with a request to go potty.  Far from a toilet, Chloe improvised as best she could.  She hopped out of her radio flyer wagon, trapsed into the bushes and proceeded to do her business.  She’s such a lady. 

I think that being bush broke at the age of 2 1/2 is pretty impressive.  That totally trumps your honor roll student anyday.  Wink.


3 Responses to “(Gasp) It’s hey-yur!”

  1. amber May 21, 2010 at 1:46 PM #

    oh my gosh, she totally gets that from aunt amber. *shiver* hair gives me the heebie jeebies!! lol.

  2. Wren May 20, 2010 at 10:25 PM #

    Hahaha LOVE IT!!! Too funny. :D

    • Kelly May 21, 2010 at 12:57 PM #

      Wren actually sent me the picture of Chloe being “bush broke.” It was too funny. She does have a huge fear of hair though. When your mom cut my hair on easter she took one look at me and screamed!!! Considering I was already nervous she didn’t make matters better. :)

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