Utility Belt Comes Complete With A Lasso

18 May

Let me set the scene for you:

Every day I go home for lunch and have either: A) Chicken Flavored Ramen Noodles or B) PB&J Sandwhich with cinnamon sauce.  (Ooo, chicken flavored!)  And every day the dogs run along the fence barking at my car as I pull into the garage.

Okay, now that I’ve set the scene:

However, today was a little different.  The pest control guy was at the house…controling pest, I guess.  (I like to imagine that he has tiny lassoes tied to his belt.  You know, for the particularly unruly pests.)  This meant that the dogs were locked inside so they wouldn’t chase the pest control guy.  Which also meant that they were frantically running circled by the back door, snarling for a piece of the pest control guys uniform.  (Namely, his pants.) 

Thus I became their hero when I set them loose in the back yard to bark at the poor guy.  He’d finished up his termite inspection and was sitting in his truck writing up the work order.  Oh, you should have seen the short-legged beasties.  They would have inflicted considerable damage to the first ankles they came across.  (Not really…they’re all bark and no bite…unless you’re bacon flavored.)  They spent the remainder of the lunch hour dashing about the yard, barking out warnings to any other uniformed man that would dare to enter our yard.  Hands down the most foreboding, foot tall dogs you’ve ever seen.

I finished out my lunch with a chocolate-flavored Tootsie Roll Pop.  (Gag.)  I know, desperate times call for desperate measures. And I was in desperate need of sugar.  (Apparently I’m all about some artificial flavoring.)  Let’s just say that after a few licks I gave up on it.  Not only did I find the center after three licks like the owl said, but it also didn’t really taste like chocolate.  I’m not really sure how to classify the “taste.”  Not wanting it to go to waste, I recycled it into an in-car microphone. 

(See, I’m going green!  You’re welcome, Earth.) 


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