My Fertilizer Brings All The Dogs To The Yard

17 May

Ah, what could be better than photo editing with wine?  Probably nothing, unless you threw in some cheese.  Mmm.  Sadly, I only have Sargento’s finest sliced sharp cheddar.

Cheese-less-ness aside, the weekend couldn’t have turned out to be more fruitful for me.  Or should I say more flower-ful?  The need to plant hit me full on this weekend and plant I did.  I picked up some Lantana, Salvia & Calibrachoa at Lowe’s and went to work.  (Calibrachoa…it sounds like a name that I’d find in my family tree.)

After working on prepping the flower beds for a few minutes, I wondered to myself why I hadn’t done this in the spring?  Why don’t my creative juices start flowing when it’s only 70-ish degrees outside?  Sad to say, it was a ripe 90+ degrees this weekend and it didn’t take long before I was feeling it.   Let’s just say that my Dove Clinical Strength was struggling by the fifteen minute mark.  No matter, I pressed on and dug like a gangly, pasty, 20-something that had never dug before…really.  My biceps, whose existence I discovered at the 20 minutes mark, protested quite loudly throughout the entire ordeal.  Yeesh.  You’d think I’d never used them before.  *cough*  Ahem.  Moving on…

Such innocent faces. The Lantana doesn't stand a chance.

Okay, they’re certainly not worthy of being shown on HGTV, but they are flower beds with flowers in them.  Quite the accomplishment where my yard is considered.  Too bad the fertilizer I used attracts the dogs.

*sniff, sniff*  What’s that?  Doth my nose deceive me?  I do believe I smell poo.  Yes, there’s poo in them thar flower beds!  Sound the battle horn, it’s time to attack!

Needless to say, once the flowers were in the ground, I spent the rest of the weekend trying  to keep them there.  Lemon only wanted to lick them.  Which is fine…she licks EVERYTHING.  Denny, on the other hand, wanted to dig them up to find the nuggets of poo that surely existed underneath them.  I couldn’t get it across to him that it was just poo-scented dirt.  Poor boy, such a cruel joke.

To the pot with the rest of ye!

What?  You think that after all that digging that the rest of the flower would end up in the ground?  Ha!  I scoff in your general direction!  No, the Salvia went into some lovely, glazed planters that I had.  I couldn’t bear the heat long enough to plant them like I’d originally intended.  Besides, the planters were in desperate needs of tenants.  Too long had they gone un-potted.  For shame!

I called it quits after that.  My muscles had never before endured such arduous labor.  (An entire two hours worth!  It’s criminal , I tell you!)  However, that night I discovered a hook outside of my kitchen window.  A lone, empty hook.  I could tell that it was jealous of the flower beds and planters.  I couldn’t let such an atrocity go unheeded!  (Yes, I’m being a tad melodramatic.  I blame it on the heat.)  Soooo, a trotted back up to Lowe’s on Sunday for some Calibrachoa.  (Ooo, say that five times fast!)

Gravity can't touch this.

Check it out, my fine readers.  The most spectacular hanging plant you’ve ever seen.  (Okay, the most spectacular hanging plant you’ve seen all day.)  Perched high above the ground, this water greedy plant has to be tended to often.  Which means in my haste, I chose the most needy plant at Lowe’s.  Which means that I have to climb a ladder EVERY DAY.  Score one for Raine!  Why?  Because my calves feel so lovely whereas my biceps do not.  I can’t let them squeak by like that!  But they’re so darn purple-licious.  I’ll tempt fate daily to have my window look so cheerful.

It’s the cheerfulest window on the block!  (I’m pretty sure that’s a word….if not, it should be.)


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