Limbo Living

4 May

I find it hard to write my usual up-beat post after a loss in the family.  I can’t quite seem to get a ticket out of limbo.  It’s a great place.  Comfy chairs, peaceful and quiet…although, the upholstery is white.  What’s up with that?  Doesn’t everyone know that white attracts stains?  I guess it goes with the feeling of endlessness and solitude.  (Can something be endless and solitary at the same time?  I think so.)

Anywho…Jordan & I are driving two hours away this evening for my cousins viewing.  I have a love/hate relationship with viewings.  For starters, I never like open casket viewings.  People never look the same and I hate to be left with that as my last image of them.  On the other hand, I feel a need to see them.  It’s as if seeing them makes it real.  They’re not really gone if I don’t see them lying there in front of me.  If I don’t see them, then maybe someone just got their facts crossed and time will show that they’ve just been on an extended vacation. 

I mostly dread the viewing because I have never experienced the death of someone so young.  He’s younger than me…is that possible?  Do people younger than you really die first?  I can’t grasp that concept yet.  If people can die so young, than what does that mean for me?  For me children?  (Even my dogs, which sounds ridiculous, I’m sure.)

See, that’s the beauty of living in limbo.  Time takes pause as you gather your thoughts and ideas about life.  It even has drinks with umbrellas in them.  Right now I think I’m going to renew my stay for a bit longer…at least until after the funeral tomorrow. 

Your regularly scheduled, cheerful posts will resume on Thursday, May 6th….you lucky dog, you.  Wink

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