2 May

My cousin passed away yesterday at the age of 24.

It was unexpected and has yet to be explained.  The family is devastated.

After losing a Grandfather and an Uncle back in February, another loss is difficult to come to terms with.  At the moment I can’t help but look around me and wonder how life will unfold.  Is the passing of time marked by milestones or losses?  I guess this would be a “glass half empty/full” concept.  At the moment I’m leaning toward empty.  Just this morning, I rolled over at 5AM to find Jordan missing from bed.  I couldn’t help but feel panicked that something had happened to him.  I hate to confess that it took me 30 minutes to get out of bed to investigate.  I was being silly, of course.  He was sitting in front of the computer with a pile of spent tissues in front of him.  Allergies are the bane of his existence.

The kids will be awake soon and I’ll wait for them.  They seem to have a knack for getting pop tarts stuck in the toaster.  That is one battle I’d like to avoid this morning.  Hopefully I’ll go back to bed soon.  Sleep was not an option last night as my mind played back a reel of childhood memories.  Times spent together on my grandparents farm.  One Thanksgiving when the cows chased us around the back pasture.  How he liked for my sister and I to make up songs for him when we were barely old enough to go to school.  Summers at his house playing with his rabbits and swimming in his neighbor’s pool.  All I can think of is this innocent little boy from my childhood who hardly had enough time to leave his mark on the world.  He will surely be missed.


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