Corn-Chameleon

25 Mar

You all know Lemon: the adorable dachshund that oozes innocence.  See those eyes?  Those heart-breakingly cute eyes?  Okay, keep that in mind as I recount to you what happened last night:

Wednesday is grocery day.  I get off of work at 5PM, go to the grocery store and usually get home by 6-ish.  By that point I’m dragging my feet and usually cook something easy for supper.  Last night we had hot dogs with baked beans and corn.  Mmm, starchy goodness.  Our arteries leapt with joy. 

After supper was over, I headed off to soak in a hot bath in an attempt to regain some energy so that I could clean up the kitchen.  It was glorious.  I exited the bathtub a new woman, full of energy with lobster-red skin to boot. 

As I walked back into the kitchen to start cleaning up, Jordan met me at the door with a smile on his face. 

“You will not believe what I caught Lemon doing.” 

 “What?” 

“She was trying her best to get up on the table to lick the dishes….I swear she’s part cat!” 

Oh, Lemon.  You sly dog, you. 

Not thinking much about it, I started to clear away the table.  It was then that I noticed that something was missing.  Both of the children’s corn cobs were missing from their plates.  (Cheese-and-rice!)  How do two perfectly-immobile corn cobs disappear?!  Leeeeemon!  (Cue the sad/innocent doggie eyes.)  Aw, come on! 

Seriously.  The idea of two, juicy corn cobs hiding out somewhere in my house freaks me out.  Ick.  So, what did I do last night?  I went on a corn cob hunt.  Because that’s what all normal, American families do at night.  Forget easter eggs, we’ll be hunting corn this year.  Siiiigh.

And did I find them?  Oh, no.  Of course not.  Evidentally corn becomes invisible once it’s been chewed to death.  Free of kernels, it becomes corn-chameleon.  Able to blend in with its surroundings seamlessly, it can go undetected for days.  

So, if you stop by for a visit, just know that there is a $5 reward per cob for anyone who can find them.

Words of a Tenant:

“Since you’re evicting me, can I get back all of my rent payments?” 

Um, that’s a negative.

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2 Responses to “Corn-Chameleon”

  1. AL March 26, 2010 at 7:58 PM #

    Hahahaha So funny! My dog did this once, found a completely molded over sausage under the couch weeks later. *Shudder*

    I think you should write a movie review!

  2. Amber March 25, 2010 at 9:37 AM #

    I am on my way!!! :)

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