Life’s Little Lessons

17 Feb

It seems as though every five-ish years, life changes completely.  Children change into teenagers and teenagers turn into adults.  I thought that once I achieved adult hood that would be the end of things; the pinnacle of change and that I could settle into a groove and go with it.  However, marriage, children, employment, etc… transformed simple adulthood into the age of responsibility.  Suddenly there were bills to pay, mouths to feed, laundry to wash.  I’ve been happily cruising along this stage, contented and relaxed.

Now I’m entering a whole new stage.  Still an adult, but now one that has dealt with loss.  I’ve never thought about losing someone close to me.  I’m half-way through my twenties… losing loved ones should wait until my forties.  Not so.  A few weeks ago I lost my grandfather.  A man I knew little about until this past year.  He and my grandmother married 18 years ago, my biological grandfather having passed away when I was three.  I won’t go into the specifics, at least not yet.  However, I will say that life has taken another interesting turn since his death.  I’d best describe it as living in limbo.  As if I’m waiting for him to return from an extended vacation.  He’s not coming back and I can’t describe how deeply that has effected me.  What is life without certain people in it?

Since his death my family and I have spent most of our free time at the hospital with my uncle, aunt and cousin.  My Uncle has many physical problems and was removed from life support last Wednesday.  The limbo continues as we all wait.

I’m not saying all of this to garner sympathy.  I bring this up because I am constantly amazed by life itself.  I think of myself as being a thoughtful person.  One that thinks ahead and plans for any possibility.  Yet I still get caught off guard, no matter how well a concept of life I think that I have.  It seems to me now that life is made up of comings and goings.  I now plan to appreciate the in-between a little more than I have in the past.  When all is said in done, what do we have but each other?

Oh, life’s little lessons.

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