When Deer Attack

2 Dec

Welcome, readers!  Are you ready for a dose of crazy today?  Good.  I’ve actually managed to remember one of my dreams that I had last night.  It’s quite a gem and I figured you could all use some entertainment this morning, because my dreams are just that…entertaining, in a slightly odd kind of way.

Okay, when I said that I remembered my dream from last night what I really meant was that I remembered most of it.  Usually I forget them as soon as I wake up, so remembering most of it is a pretty big deal for me:

My dream opened as I was at home getting ready for work.  I was feeling murderous over the fact that every pair of jeans I pulled out of my closet had the belt loops chewed off.  Denny.  Gosh darnit.  I hate it when my dog sneaks into my closet to chew on my belt loops. 

After the belt loop fiasco, I hurried on to work.  I walked into the office to find Mr. Leonard, the octogenarian we all know and love, hobbling about the office in obvious pain. 

Raine: “Mr. Leonard, are you okay?”

Leonard: “Naw, I’ve had another allergic reaction.”

Raine: “Allergic reaction?  To what?”

Leonard: *rips off his shirt, Hulk style, to reveal a large, mountainous whelp on his back*  “Darn deer bite.”

Raine: “Deer bite?!”

Leonard: “Yep.  I’ve been allergic to deer since I was a child.  I always get this way when I get bit by one.”

Raine: *stunned silence*

I know, right?  Where do I come up with this stuff?  Maybe it was the bowl of frosted flakes I had at 10:30 last night.  Hmm.  *stroking imaginary moustach* 

Anyhoo, those of you interested in the movie rights, comment below with a dollar amount.  *wink*

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One Response to “When Deer Attack”

  1. Amy Lynn December 2, 2009 at 4:09 PM #

    BAHA! That is awesome. I have some pretty strange dreams as well. Most of the time I end up remembering them at the most random times during the day. I will be preparing Z's lunch and then all of a sudden I will remember that me and my graduating class were eaten alive by sharks during our class reunion. On a random dock in the middle of the ocean. In the middle of the night. Watching a movie on a projection screen. Did I mention that we were the middle of the ocean?Yeah. Weird. But hey, at least weird dreams keep things interesting!!

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