Parent Field Guide Tip #263

6 Jan

# 263: Improvisation is your best friend.

My hair is…weird.

It may be because the kids used up the last of the shampoo last night and that I had to improvise with some less than shampoo-like products once in the shower.  There is nothing quite like stepping into a shower that is coated in conditioner only to find that the shampoo bottle is full of water.  Surely I am not the only parent who has found them self in this predicament.  If you haven’t come across this problem yet, just wait.  You will.

With little time and few options, I set to work trying to wash my hair.  First up was my husband’s bar of Dial soap.  A classic soap that sucks every last drop of moisture from your skin and leaves your hair feeling like it’s coated in a year’s worth of soap scum.  That would be a no go.  Second in line was my Dove Deep Moisturizing Body Wash.  Surely this would do the job.  It leaves my skin feeling oh-so-silky, but unfortunately doesn’t do a darn thing for your hair.  (Well, except for making it smell fabulous)  Sadly, good-smelling hair is only part of the equation. I’d like to clean it as well.  You know, give it body and remove the natural oil so my hair doesn’t look like it’s been sucked on by a cow. 

Running out of time, and feeling quite desperate, I reached for my last option:

That’s right, puppy shampoo.  Hey, it has Shampoo on the label!  With promises of leaving my fur smelling like Jasmine and the added bonus of being tear-free, it seemed like a win-win situation.  (It was not.)  Though it did seem to attempt to clean my hair, it barely passed as a viable replacement for regular, human shampoo.  It refused to come to a lather, thus forcing me to use much more than the recommended amount.   By the time I stepped out of the shower, I’d used enough puppy shampoo to wash an Irish Wolfhound.

It is flat, limp and just plain weird.  It’s pliable…moldable, even.  It’s as if my hair has been transformed into pipe cleaners.  I can actually pose each hair into different shapes at will.  That is not normal.  My only hope is that time will speed up so that I can go to lunch, buy some human shampoo and take another shower. 

So, keep this in mind, all of you parents out there: If your child sabotages your shampoo, see if Rover can loan you some of his.  It’s the only thing that will work in a pinch….though barely. 

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2 Responses to “Parent Field Guide Tip #263”

  1. amy lynn January 7, 2010 at 2:17 PM #

    BAHA! This is hilarious. :)

  2. sherri January 6, 2010 at 7:57 PM #

    Wow….I wonder if I could use puppy shampoo at work?!

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